I believe that there are many problems that affect many different people. On one hand you have parents who won’t pay a dime in support no matter how low the support order is for. They just don’t want the responsibility that comes with parenting. They will do everything possible to get out of paying support, moving out of state, constently changing jobs, etc. They go in to court over and over each time making a small support payment just to stay out of trouble and then back to nothing at all. These deadbeat parents need to be dealt with. They need to be punished for their irresponsibility. Then on the other hand we have parents who pay way too much in support. I know someone who pays $300 per week for just 2 kids. He struggles to make ends meet while the mom lives happily off of his support and food stamps. See, there are deadbeats on both sides of this. One thing our courts need to stop is stereotyping. Not all mothers are money hungry. Not all fathers are deadbeats. And families are not the same as they used to me. More and more fathers are getting custody. But the bad moms and dads ruin it for the rest of us. If I walk into court, I am seen as a money hungry person which is highly untrue. I am supposed to receive $28 per week and I have never asked for more than that. Why? Because I believe child support is supposed to HELP raise the child not fully support the child. But the court doesn’t see that. One of the big problems today is that judges don’t care about the people. They see us all as docket numbers instead of the struggling, hardworking, devoted parents that we are. They see docket # whatever is a father so he must be a deadbeat. They see the petitioner is a mother so she must be out for more money. No matter what laws are made, no matter what our government does to help us, these problems and so many more will never go away if the judges are not willing to be fair. That’s what it boils down to. Yes there are many things that can be changed and fixed. But the one thing our government cannot fix for us are the unfair, biased, clouded judgements we face in court. No matter who you are, no matter what side of this fight you are on, we all face that one same problem. Most people say that the system is only fair to moms. That is so not true. It is not fair to any of us. Unless you are a custodial mom fighting against a deadbeat, it’s probably hard to understand. I am fighting against a deadbeat. It seems like the judge just doesn’t care about my side of it all. He has been far to easy on this deadbeat. But I also know that some judges are too hard on people who don’t deserve it. We cannot put a label on anyone without first knowing the facts. I hope that more people will start to understand that. Just because you have to deal with a deadbeat dad doesn’t mean all dads are deadbeats. Just because you have to deal with a selfish money hungry mom doesn’t mean all moms are this way. If we continue to stereotype people based on whether they are a dad or mom, then we are no better than the judges who do nothing to help us. We are no better than the people who make money off of our problems. We are no better than the exes we are fighting against. I also have a petition that can be found on facebook. It includes every problem we face when dealing with child support. And I have also included visitation. There are problems with visitation on both sides as well. Hopefully more people around the country will start other petitions so we can make this as big as it needs to be.
I agree with you and do sympathize with your situation. Thank you for your article because you have sparked questions. Questions for everyone out there who are unable to understand the Child Support System and for those who have not dealt with it long enough to do some serious ‘research’:
Why is the Government involved with out individual consideration of ‘each and every’ situation?
Why is it forced upon both parties when Welfare is involved? (we know that answer.).
Why in any separation case the System is twisting arms to ‘get’ a Petitioner?
Who do you think caused this outrageous “STEREOTYPING” to begin with and Why???
Why would any “FREE AMERICAN” want such a corrupt money hungry system involved unless the situation was absolutely necessary? There are so many people, (custodial/non-custodial/non-paternal) stereotyped ‘deadbeats’ that have legal and legitimate reasons for not wanting to pay; or collect money through this System.
For example: How about when you can not see a child and the money is going towards drugs… How about finding out that all three children are not yours but because you have been together for eight years and can’t find the real father(s), your name will do… How about one individual paying for an entire custodial family, (adult support)… I could go on and on with all the different situations, but the courts, (usually unqualified clerks are the ones just pushing this money hungry system along; even trying to enforce laws that don’t exist, or are contrary to existing laws… (I can copy and paste proof to this last statement.). NOT ONE INDIVIDUAL SHOULD BE CALLED A ‘DEADBEAT’ BY LOOKING AT THE ‘STEREOTYPED’ VISION THAT WE CONJURE UP IN OUR OWN HEADS… THAT WAS PLACED THERE BY THOSE WHO ARE LINING THEIR POCKETS. Last question: What is one penny on the dollar worth, multyplied by a Billion $$$$??? That’s just one Billion!
Anyone like to respond to this? Please feel free to leave a comment below.
To the one who submitted this article, please know that you are in my prayers and you will be ok. If a guy like me cares and wishes you well on your journey, just think what Our Father wishes for you!
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