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Unfair Visitation Laws

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I received and was granted permission to post this letter. The questions that arise, the insight, and the powerful perspective contained within this letter are thought provoking and deserve careful consideration:

Daddy Nnm:

What about millions of Fathers who are MIA because of the family court system? Political figures often discuss the welfare of our children but never discuss the problem regarding our family court system, unfair visitation laws and how those laws effect fathers who want to be part of their children’s lives.

There is a Child Support Enforcement agency in every state but not a Visitation/Parenting Time Enforcement Agency. Why?? This needs to be an issue addressed at the federal level and not decided by the states because the system at the state level is not working. Most states call the time Fathers spend with their children as “Visitation” instead of calling it what it is “Parenting time”. Parenting time is a time to be a parent to your child. Visitation is what the family court force on fathers, as they want fathers to become an occasional visitor. Family courts wants fathers to settle for becoming a ‘Disney Dad,’ one whose role is nothing more than outings to theme parks once or twice a month. Why can’t the family courts grant time to fathers in a frequency, duration, and type reasonably calculated to promote a strong and loving relationship between the child and the parent? The standard visitation which is four days a month is not enough time to be an effective parent to your child. The family courts very, very rarely enforce visitation. Here, the prejudice is against fathers and their parental rights.. The congress refuses to acknowledge the injustice, cruelty, brutality and inhumanity of denying the love and companionship between a father and their child. Divorce from a spouse is not a divorce from your children, nor should custody decisions be used as a punishment. Joint custody can benefit the children, the divorced parents, and society in general by having both parents involved in the child’s upbringing.

Fathers are systematically eliminated from their children’s lives. Father’s parental rights are systematically terminated by family court judges who have a deep seated gender bias against fathers. Termination of parental rights is both total and irrevocable. Termination of parental rights is the family law equivalent of the death penalty in a criminal case. The primary casualties in our Domestic Relations courts are our children.

Courts are supposed to approach cases of child custody, support payments, and visitation rights in a gender-neutral posture. It sounds fair, and it is fair. But it is a myth. Judges are not enforcing these gender laws fairly, and few seem to care. Unless you have been forcefully removed from the everyday upbringing of your child by the Court, you can not fathom the emotional distress. To discriminate against fathers because of their gender in this day and age is no different than telling a person to go to the back of the bus because of their skin color. With sole or primary custody going to the mother in roughly 90% of cases, claiming custody is not based on gender would be like claiming hiring is not based on race if 90% of a particular race, though equally qualified, was unable to obtain employment. This was missing from the Obama’s Father’s day speech. What about millions of Fathers who are MIA because of the family court system?

Anguish is experienced by hundreds of thousands of fathers across the country. Their grievances include: blocked visitation and unenforced visitation orders; “move away” spouses who use geography as a method of driving fathers out of their children’s lives; acceptance by the courts of false and/or uncorroborated accusations as a basis for denying custody or even contact between parent and child; a “win/lose” system which pits ex-spouses against one another by designating a custodial and a noncustodial parent; courts which in determining custody tilt heavily towards the parent who initiates the divorce, thus encouraging each parent to “strike first”; burdensome legal costs; and judicial preference for mothers over fathers as custodial parents..

The child’s right to equal access and opportunity with both parents, the right to be guided and nurtured by both parents, the right to have major decisions made by the application of both parents’ wisdom, judgment and experience.. The child does not forfeit these rights when the parents divorce.

Please take a moment and SIGN for Child Support Reform. You do not have to be directly involved in the Child Support System to Sign this Petition. Yet, we are all apart of the System; if someones’ U.S. Constitutional Rights are being violated, you are being violated. How much more Government interference are you able to put up with? Presently, the Children are always the losers; relationships are being ruined, thousands go to jail and thousands commit suicide each year! PLEASE USE THE COMMENT FORM TO SIGN LOCATED AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE; Thank You!

“The more of us we have, the more hope we have and hope is the commodity we need; RIGHT NOW!”

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About The Author

My name is James (Jim) DeLelys. I have been involved in the Child Support System for nearly 16 years. Over those years I have acquainted myself with countless individuals who have had to bear the burden of a terribly broken and corrupt sytem. It is through 'listening' that I have come to the enevitable conclusion that Child Support Laws and Government interference can not be tolerated anymore.

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17 Responses to “Unfair Visitation Laws”

  1. Child support laws is unfair for fathers that support their children. I don’t understand why father’s will pay for everything and most Mother’s don’t pay anything. Discrimination for father’s and Judges don’t care

  2. oscarNo Gravatar says:

    We need a child support reform!

  3. I agree that the family court system is openly practicing discrimination against non custodial parents who are mostly men. I find it hard to believe that while a parent is excluded from the children, he or she is required to maintain financial support. Failure to pay support is punishable by law and can cause serious issues for the parent. A parent that refuses visitation to a parent is not held accountable for their actions, even when they are taken to court for failure to comply with a visitation order. Parents that who are not determined to be a risk (a substantiated risk) should be compensated or be able to file a criminal suit just as a parent can be held criminally accountable for not paying child support.

  4. B.H.No Gravatar says:

    In Missouri the “Best Interest of the Child” according to Associate Circuit Judge David P. Chamberlain appointed by Governor Matt Blunt to the Seventh Judicial Circuit in Clay County, Missouri on April 30, 2008.in Liberty, MO, is to take away “visitation” (I hate that term) from the Father.

    I guess to Judge Chamberlain the best interest of the child is not to have quality time with his own father. Mother gets away with lies, withholding vists and contempt of court. Her and her family would like to see the father eliminated altogether. Alienation!!!! Mother only wants money from anywhere she can get it (now a new husband and his family). Like you say, system needs to be reformed in alot of ways.

  5. TaylorNo Gravatar says:

    My Ex, Hit her boyfriend with a car with their kids in the car and still is considered a fit parent….the family court system is just a bog cash cow for the government. they take a percentage of child support andd dont care what happens to the kids. Its al about the might Doller Bill

  6. Don’t forget the system that robs also has ‘sovereign immunity’, so if they do something illegally, they can not be sued….what are there laws for then?

  7. The family courts are a “free for all” and not fair

  8. Family law is the biggest scam in this country designed to strip family’s, especially fathers from their children’s future. All judges and lawyers are in on it and they should all burn in hell.

  9. The system has been totally out of control since the 1996 Welfare Reform Act. The main culprit who cooked this piece of Orwellian Legislation was Sen. Bill Bradley (D-New Jersey) also known as Dollar Bill Bradley who in furthering his career and political correctness jumped on the deadbeat dad bandwagon. I have seen people (including myself) have taken the drastic step of going underground. Why do we have to pay outrageous amounts of child support when they know we can’t afford it. Let us pay what we owe without the outrageous interest and penalties that jack up the amount that you owe to well above what the actual amount is. This is just another example of government mandated extortion standing on the back of the honest working man! The law says that no judge can forgive back child support. What kind of law cuts the judges out of the loop?! We need to have them more than ever. One size does not fit all. I resent the term dead beat dad, I am not a dead beat. I was a hard working man until I was disabled and they still take 5% out my social security! I can’t get a passport, barely got my drivers license back, any and all occupational licenses can be revoked just becase a judges and court systems bias says you owe money to an individual. The IRS easier to work with than the child support system! All this for money. Keep up the good fight! Thank you Bill Bradley I hope you burn in Hell.

  10. I was unfairly hosed and all over visitation. The mother relocated and when I served her for visitatin she or her father highered a litigation lawyer and she was given everyting she asked for. Completely one sided as if the judge could care less if the child sees me, her father. Not to mention chiold support payments that are based on figures that her lawyer ‘drew up’ on assumptions and guesses. This is just scratching the surface. I hope someday family courts become fair.

    ….and the judgment dilivered on the daughter’s fifth birthday. A birthday gift to the daughter?…of to the mother…? It’s all corrupt. I’m better off dead, but I have a 13 year old from a previous relationship that is with me more than half the time. And her mother has already served me for custody and backsupport in the midsts of my visitation case. With the two mothers having the same lawfirm, I won’t be suprised if I get the same treatment all over again.

  11. We need to Organize mass protest on this issue, Misandry has become big business and if men don’t start standing up for them selves and their children at all costs even that of their marriage the will soon find themselves with nothing, and it won’t be them that pays the ultimate price it will be their sons and their son’s sons.

    NOTE: Wikipedia Misandry (pronounced /m??sændri/) is the hatred of men or boys.

  12. DavidNo Gravatar says:

    As a father whose daughter took away for no reason, this bring down tears. The mother intended not to communicate with me and the Court found excuse that we do not have cordial communication, so order sole custody, both physical and legal to the mother. After the judgment I have not seen my daughter in spite of visitation rights. Child protection service was involved in my daughter while living with the mother and her husband because they leave the 7 years girl to walk along to bus stop some 500 yards from their home. When the little girl missed the bus, she decided to walk to school in rain. Someone did the right thing and called the cop that brought the child protection service in the picture. The school also reported concern of inappropriate sexual behavor from 7 years old daughter. Court appointed Child Evaluator report acknowleged the involvement of CPS but the evaluator told court that mother has been sent to some sort of training and there is no concern as to the child’s safety. The biased judge refused to see any point despite strong evidences. While the cross examination, judge interrupted with my questions and instructed the mother and her husband not to answer my challenging questions. Both of us represented ourselves,. The judge told me he is acting as a refree. My daughter is not seeing father and when I called her she asked me Daddy when will you pick me. This really painful as the father. My case is not in Appeal court and I need help with writing brief. Anyone can help?

  13. Please help these “non custodial parents” being held captive to a meaningless piece of paper that custodial parents use as a weapon.

  14. Melisa EstesNo Gravatar says:

    my husbands ex decided she wanted more money 2 weeks after our son together was born. of course they gave it to her and the last 6 years have been nothing but struggle for us.. Texas Attorney General cares nothing about the second family..

  15. My rights as Father were taken away from me in 15 minutes in an Oregon Custody Court, without any evidence of wrong doing or harm to my child. But of course I am ordered to pay half the amount the Court deems necessary for my daughter to live comfortably and I am allow to see her 48 days a year, which my ex wife makes sure never happens. When I petitioned the court to enforve the visitation rules, I was charged with Contempt of Court, I won’t do that again. This all true. I haven’t seen my daughter in 3 year and no one cares.

  16. MattNo Gravatar says:

    I feel that your case for reform lacks structure or any concrete Ideas for changing the system.
    I’ll sign this petition anyways though because the system as it stands now is vertually the same as it was in the 50’s way before there was a feminist movement. Now that woman want to be treated as equals it’s time to shed these old laws, that are truth be told insulting to women. . . . . But getting women to sign off on this is about as likely as getting them to sign off on an eaqual draft. In short it’ll never happen but keep fighting the good fight!!

    Response: At present we have Appeals, Writs, Law Suits, Rallying and an up and coming DC Rally Event this weekend 23-25 July 2010. We act upon Bills presented by the House; Yea/Nay. Plus we work with approx. 18 other ‘reciprocating’ Organizations. Possibly we should set up a page informing people about the steps we are taking. Thank you for being here… we need more people to come forward. Public Awareness and changing Public Opinion by revealing the Truth about what their tax dollars are being used for is the number one priority of any Organization; We have to let people know that Incentives/Penalties exist which waste their tax dollars.