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A Heartbreak

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I’ve been keeping up with reading your website a few times a week and looking for updates, along with reading other information on other sites on the subject of child support. Still at a loss here as to how to help John, I’ve had to put some of my energy into getting us set up and situated in other living arrangements. As I mentioned in letters past, we’re going to have to live separately for awhile…maybe a long while as we can’t keep things afloat together with me not working and us down to one car in an area where you need wheels to get around. The only way I’m going to be of any help to him right now is if I get out there and get work and I just can’t do it where we are.

I’ll be living with a friend in Woonsocket, RI and John is going to be getting a room or living with room mate(s) somewhere near his job which will be about a half hour drive from where I’ll be. We plan on trying to keep “us” going as best we can and are hoping some financial breathing room that the new living arrangements will give us will help us to do that. As you know anything can happen and with John looking at at least 5 more years of paying what he’s being forced to pay in child support, it’s daunting and extremely scary to say the least. I worry about him getting ill, hurt or losing his job due to the still shaky economy or for some other reason and ending up in arrears, jail, losing his license or worse. If any of that were to happen…well…sigh.

I continue to point folks to your site and bring awareness to the travesty that is the child support system. It’s so entwined with other “systems” that there aren’t many folks out there who are not affected in one way or another. I myself had no idea just how bad it all was until I found myself being an inadvertent victim. All those years I had heard bad jokes about men getting raped in divorce court for alimony and child support, and although I never exactly found it funny I never once thought it was as bad as it is. Whoo Boy, what an eye opener this has all been for me!

The lawyer that our local Senator had talk to John and I…we really appreciated his time, but from the first sentence out of his mouth (which was “I’m a father who is a custodial parent who gets paid child support”) we knew he wasn’t going to be too sympathetic nor would he really understand. Made no difference to him, same as it makes no difference to the court, that up until July of 2009 John WAS also the custodial parent to his son who was denied any help in the form of food stamps or health insurance to his son because his ex was already in the system claiming kids she didn’t have living with her. And now he finds out that all that time, all that money, all those benefits she was bragging about having he’s now responsible to pay that all back. Boils my blood and makes me cry at the same time. His ex thought she was going to be rolling in money by getting all the State benefits she was getting and tapping into her cash cow (John) at the same time. Well Karma’s a b**ch and she’s now also finding out the hard way that this is not how it all works and once she got them embroiled in this system NOBODY wins, least of all their child. We have no idea how much of the money he’s paying out is actually going to her, but we do know that they cut her food stamps and possibly her temporary SS benefits and maybe even the Mass Health she was getting. John went from paying $140 a month for his health insurance for himself up to over $600 a month when he was court ordered to put his son on his plan. Staggering to say the least. Anyway, I feel bad for his son, but not bad for her as she’s now paying for her ignorance and greed. She just doesn’t get it…in this system EVERYONE pays and NOBODY wins.


I recently reconnected with a woman on FB who I was maid of honor at her wedding back in 2000. She’s since divorced and her 2 daughters from the marriage were kidnapped by her ex for over 3 years and her wages are garnished for child support for children she didn’t even know were alive or where they were.

She now has her daughters back living with her for the past year and her wages are STILL being garnished! Now I ask you…if he’s not getting the money, and her paycheck is still being garnished to the tune of $450 a month for children the court knows are now back living with her, where is that money going? Who’s getting it? Damn, what a SHAM! She lives in SC and can’t even afford to file thew proper papers with the courts to get this fixed…if it can even be fixed. She’s awaiting her tax returns to see if she gets any money to file the proper forms. SIGH

Thanks as always for listening, Jim!


Please take a moment and SIGN for Child Support Reform. You do not have to be directly involved in the Child Support System to Sign this Petition. Yet, we are all apart of the System; if someones’ U.S. Constitutional Rights are being violated, you are being violated. How much more Government interference are you able to put up with? Presently, the Children are always the losers; relationships are being ruined, thousands go to jail and thousands commit suicide each year! PLEASE USE THE COMMENT FORM TO SIGN LOCATED AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE; Thank You!

“The more of us we have, the more hope we have and hope is the commodity we need; RIGHT NOW!”

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About The Author

My name is James (Jim) DeLelys. I have been involved in the Child Support System for nearly 16 years. Over those years I have acquainted myself with countless individuals who have had to bear the burden of a terribly broken and corrupt sytem. It is through 'listening' that I have come to the enevitable conclusion that Child Support Laws and Government interference can not be tolerated anymore.


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